You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
