It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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