when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
