would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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