They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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