She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize
