Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
