she was so not down for the gang bang
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize
