this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
