I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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