I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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