I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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