you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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