That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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