Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
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