Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
