LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
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If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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