mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize