You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
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Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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