its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
