What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
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