the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
