Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
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how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
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Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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