Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...