Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome