so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box