yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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