I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
