my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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