wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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