Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
