She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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