i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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