I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
