summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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