a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Randomize
