I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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