Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize