I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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