please come you make the beer taste better
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I just found puke in my bra..
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Randomize
