yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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