There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
