carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Randomize
