So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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