how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
