she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize