I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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