the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
