I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
