; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
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