So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
third nipple confirmed
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
