all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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