Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
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I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
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Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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