I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
