i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
