sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
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