She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
