pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
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if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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