I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
