i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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