Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
