It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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