so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
