I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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